Humorous Out-Of-Office Replies (OOO's)

"Sorry I'm out of the office on vacation.  Use the two weeks as an opportunity to hack my network as nobody will be watching the firewall and IDS logs."

"I'm not in, but you have hit and now verified a live address.  Please put me on your "A" list for resale to other spammers."

"Since you now know I'm away for two weeks, please go to the county tax assessor's web site and look up the location of my residence. Help yourself. Bring a pickup truck."

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.  Be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.  If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday.  Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email.  Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message.  Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-d

"Hello customer. I'm not in, and you can try contacting someone else in my firm who wants your business. The onus is, however, all on you, as I'm too lazy to delegate my email to somebody else while away. Please don't go visit our competitor, who is far too professional to send you an ascii answering machine message like this."

Feel free to send any additions by visiting the Contact page.

Schmahl World Computer Assistance

this page:  http://www.schmahl.net/OOOhumor.php

updated August 21, 2005