Humorous Out-Of-Office Replies (OOO's)

 Warning...If you see a blond headed, pale white man wandering around mumbling comments about ISCSI, server migrations, ticket SLA's and has a crazed look in his eyes...do not attempt to apprehend this man.  He has escaped from his job and is thought to be attempting what was once known as vacation.  This is a long ago forgotten ritual and we don't know what to expect from him.  Best course of action is to offer him a cold beverage and a smile and back away slowly.  Rumor has it that vacations lasted a week so you might try to reach him on the 26th.  We have no further information on this man but his team can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX and can handle any issues while he is missing.

"Sorry I'm out of the office on vacation.  Use the time as an opportunity to hack my network as nobody will be watching the firewall and IDS logs.

"I'm not in, but you have hit and now verified a live address.  Please put me on your "A" list for resale to other spammers."

Since you now know I'm away for two weeks, please go to the county tax assessor's web site and look up the location of my residence. Help yourself. Bring a pickup truck.

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.  Be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.  If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday.  Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email.  Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message.  Please restart your computer and try sending again.

"Hello customer. I'm not in, and you can try contacting someone else in my firm who wants your business. The onus is, however, all on you, as I'm too lazy to delegate my email to somebody else while away. Please don't go visit our competitor, who is far too professional to send you an ascii answering machine message like this."

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